VOICEOVER (VO): Some of the nation's favorite celebrities... What if we were to say 150 for the two?

Then you've got yourself a deal.

VO: ..one antiques expert each... Da-da!

ANTON: # Da da da-da da-da... # CHARLES: I like it, I like it!

VO: ..and one big challenge - who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices... (THEY LAUGH) VO: ..and auction for a big profit further down the road?

Potential for disaster!

VO: Who will spot the good investments?

Who will listen to advice?

What you've just come out with there, I cannot believe that!

VO: And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?!"

VO: Time to put your pedal to the metal.

This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

VO: Tonight, we welcome aboard two old hands of stage and screen.

I'll give you a clue.

Firing up the road in this 1975 Jenson Interceptor is veteran TV presenter Michael Aspel and everybody's favorite Aunt Sally, Una Stubbs.

MICHAEL (MA): It's a lovely noise, isn't it, that gurgle?

That's the engine, you know.

I'm having trouble finding somewhere MA: to put my left foot.

UNA (US): You always say that!

I'll probably put it in your lap in a moment!

Do you know this part of the world?

Not at all, I've never been here at all.

I would say, look, it's so flat, you can see so far into the distance.

VO: Michael has been on our screens for over 50 years.

The newsreader turned presenter's career has seen him rub shoulders with a long list of high profile names...

I quite like to fill a room with portraits.

US: People... MA: Dogs are popular.

US: Ducks?

MA: Dogs.

US: Dogs.

MA: And ducks, I suppose.

VO: And Michael's competition on the road trip is his old mate Una Stubbs.

Former dancer and chorus girl, Una shot to fame in Sir Cliff Richard's Summer Holiday but is maybe best known to most of us as the apple of a certain scarecrow's eye.

VO: These old chums may be taking each other on, but they won't be doing it alone.

Guiding them through this challenge are two absolute experts in all things antiquey - James Lewis and Thomas Plant, currently getting to grips with the trusty 1982 Citroen 2CV, which is back for another trip.

Er, overloaded?

THOMAS (TP): It's a bit tight, isn't it?

JAMES (JL): Tight?

I'm going to be hugging you for this entire journey.

Now, this is where you have to be careful.

TP: Yeah, I know.

(SCRAPING) Whoa, that's reverse.

Reverse!

Oh.

That is first.

James?

Thomas?

I can't drive this.

VO: Oh dear.

Thomas Plant started in the antiques business as a porter before quickly working his way up the ranks to auctioneer.

He believes that in order to make money in antiques one must have some knowledge.

Handy, but also a lot of luck.

Well, let's hope for the sake of our celebrities that he's brought lady luck along for the ride!

TP: Look, look, it's stuck again!

JL: Hello.

WOMAN: Do you want a push?

JL: Please, would you give us a hand?

Gosh, they were fit.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Jolly giant James Lewis has a passion for all things quirky and a reputation for buying the things that no-one else understands!

James's two great loves in his life are animals and antiques, and he claims that he made his first auction bid at the tender age of six.

Euch!

Una Stubbs is just a goddess, isn't she?

I'll be a little sort of "Oh, it's Una Stubbs."

I'm glad we're being helped by experts, aren't you?

Well, it's the saving grace, isn't it?

I mean, I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to meeting them.

Michael seems very sophisticated to me.

Absolutely.

You would imagine him with driving gloves.

Driv...

Yes, driving gloves!

VO: So, as our celebrities make their way to meet our esteemed experts, any pre-match nerves?

US: I'm really, really, sort of, quite nervous about haggling.

Haggling.

That is the thing that is worrying me most.

US: I usually agree.

MA: Yes.

VO: Michael and Una have £400 each, two days of shopping - and haggling - and one auction to prove they can buy low and sell high with the best of them.

VO: Before we throw them in at the deep end, let's look at the journey ahead.

This celebrity road trip will take place in the delightfully flat county of Norfolk.

Very, very flat, Norfolk.

Starting in Holt, we'll weave our way towards our auction showdown in King's Lynn.

The town of Holt was almost wiped off the map in 1709 by a fire that spread so fast though its streets it was virtually destroyed in just three hours.

TP: There we are.

Well done, Thomas.

That was not easy.

VO: Time to match our celebrities with our experts.

Here we are.

US: Hello.

TP: Nice to meet you.

MA: Michael.

JL: James, nice to see you.

TP: Thomas.

US: Una.

TP: Una.

So, tell us, are you looking forward to this, excited?

Yes, yes.

Well, we're hoping you are, because you're the stars of the show.

Oh, hardly.

Michael, don't you know a tremendous amount about antiques?

This is the terrible mistake that people make.

I just was the mouthpiece at the beginning of the show, and then watched like everybody else.

So I've learnt very little.

I don't know anything about anything, so I'd be glad for your help.

You're with me.

We... And Michael, you're with me in the 2CV.

Don't look disappointed, it's fine!

See you guys later.

US: Bye.

JL: Have fun.

Come on, Michael.

So, Michael, are you confident?

I'm never confident but I...

Sometimes it goes down to something like fear and loathing and terror and all that stuff.

I'm very uneasy indeed.

VO: Fear and loathing in Norfolk - now that's a very different road trip to the one I had in mind!

Don't feel like that, because I will look after you.

Thank you.

And I will protect you from all the shopkeepers.

Don't worry.

VO: Yes, don't worry, Michael, Thomas will look after you.

He knows best.

Personally I'd like to go and buy a few shoes.

VO: If we can keep him out of the shoe shops!

He's so sharp.

I've got a bit of a shoe fetish, but for men's shoes, to wear on my own, not for...

Yes, it's quite a healthy interest.

No, no, I don't go trying on my wife's, you know.

That's, er... VO: Not her shoes, anyway.

This is it.

This is it.

VO: Michael and Thomas's first shop of the day is not a shoe shop, it's Shirehall Plain Antiques and they're looked after by Mandy - with shoes on.

TP: Hello.

MA: Hello, I'm Michael.

DEALER: Hello, I'm Mandy.

Hiya.

So, Michael, how do you want to do it?

Do you want to go and have a look yourself or shall we do it together?

I think that's a good idea.

I think doing it together would be rather nice.

Yes.

Then any ignorant remarks will be swallowed up by something you will say.

So that's good.

Well, I don't know about that.

Let's have a look, come on.

Michael, have you got a particular style you like?

You're a very stylish man, obviously, we can see you're very dapper, so obviously you like the finer things in life.

I'm an art-deco bloke, really.

Oh, are you?

Yes, there's always, it's an emotional connection with when I was born.

That was the time, you know, that was when it all happened, so it's my time, as it were.

Well, I'm pleased to know that you're an art-deco guy.

Yes, but not exclusively.

Well, no, because I love the Deco.

VO: First the shoes and now art deco.

Could this be the beginning of a beautiful friendship?

The cinemas I used to go to were all art deco.

Oh, and how old did you have to be to... You had to be 16, so I borrowed my father's identity card, and they said, "According to this you've just done "six years in the army.

Hop it."

I was only 14.

VO: While Team Aspel are getting to know each other... VO: ..Una and James pose for a quick photo with the local paparazzi.

OK?

Pleasure.

US: I make you look like a giant.

Everybody makes me look like a giant.

So, do I buzz off on my own?

Well, you can if you like.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, I'd rather be with you.

Well, in that case let's look together and see what we like, have a... throw a few ideas around... Good.

And see what we can find.

Lovely.

This is it, this is our first one.

US: Oh-ho!

Da-da!

JL: After you.

VO: Una and James's first shop of the day is Richard Scott Antiques, and Una is straight in there.

Gorgeous.

JL: Straight-sided coffee cans, sort of early 19th century.

Coffee...?

Coffee can.

If it's got a straight side it's a coffee can, whereas... Why can?

Erm, just...

I presume it's like a can, a baked bean can.

Oh, I see, I see.

Whereas that one with the curved sides is a coffee cup.

US: That's lovely.

JL: Very pretty.

VO: James is keen to give his celebrity apprentice a lesson in buying antiques.

When you're looking to sell at auction, you have to not think what you like...

US: Oh.

..because you're never gonna own it, and you'll never see it again.

US: Yeah.

JL: It'll be sold at auction.

Oh.

You've got to take, in a way, all of the emotion out of it.

Yes.

Oh.

Glass is popular nowadays, isn't it?

Can be, yep... Look at that in the light.

Very pretty.

Isn't it?

Yep.

1920s, probably, 1930s.

At auction, it would make £8.

Yes.

£28.

So, very unfashionable.

(THEY LAUGH) Oh.

Hmm...

I'm gonna make such a fool of myself, but I'd quite like to dare, just to see if he's right and I'm not.

VO: Hmm.

Go on, Una, we dare you.

VO: Back with the boys, and something's caught Thomas's eye.

This is a beast.

The record enlarger, it's called.

British made, so, you know, you can date that sort of between the wars, or maybe slightly earlier.

This is where obviously the slide went in.

And they just projected it in enlarged form, that's all it's saying.

The head under that black shroud there...

It's got the actual, the hood still on it, which is amazing.

Yes.

To have that still there.

Cor, they want a lot of money for it, £195.

What would they take for that, do you reckon?

150, or...?

Oh no, we want a bit more than that.

Well... You'd want £100.

Mandy?

Hello.

Yes?

We like this, but we don't like the top price on it.

OK.

I'll have a chat with him and get the very best price for you.

Thank you very much.

I'll go do it now.

MA: Your own home cinema.

TP: It's a big lens there, isn't it?

Oh, it's a whopper.

Let's see your nose through there.

Oh, no, you don't want to see it, no, all those pores.

Right, I've had a chat with him and he's said the very best on that would be 150.

150?

Yes.

He wouldn't go a bit lower?

Wouldn't go 120?

I could do another tenner, that would be it.

So 140 we're talking...?

140 is the best.

Really, you think...?

Really, seriously the best, yeah.

That's what he said, so... TP: It is exciting, though, isn't it, it's quite a fun thing.

MA: Yeah, it's different, and... Shall we do it?

Yes.

TP: Do you wanna do it?

MA: I do.

You've got a sale.

Thank you very much.

Very kind.

MA: Excellent.

Good.

DEALER: Thanks.

MA: Thank you very much.

DEALER: Thanks, Michael.

TP: Thank you.

Our first item.

MA: Yes.

TP: Exciting.

We're off and running.

VO: And we're off and running to see if Una's moved away from that green decanter.

I must listen to you.

No, no, keep looking, keep looking.

Ooh.

That is lovely.

OK, what have you found?

An old Chinese pot.

Inside there's all extraordinary markings, like writing.

Oh.

I don't know if it's writing or just dirt.

Dirt?!

There's something in there, though.

It's a ginger jar?

Probably a ginger jar, lost its cover.

Yes.

An interesting thi...

Very interesting.

JL: That's the sort of thing...

US: Yes?

..that is really speculative.

Yes?

And at that level, I think you might have found something there.

So... Da dum!

That's lovely too.

Oh, badly chipped.

Yes, it's had a very nasty...

It's beautiful.

Now, how about the one at the back?

Quite bossy, aren't you?

How about that one?

Eh, more crackage.

Oh, more crackage.

Is it not worth getting if it's cracked?

If I got it for tuppence.

If you got it for tuppence it would be.

But no, that's... it's an interesting little area, this.

It is.

Now then, what's that, the thing that looks as if it's made out of sand?

Now that is interesting.

Chinese.

They've been digging up these mass graves in China for years.

The most famous one is the Terracotta Army.

So it's Tang Dynasty.

It's ninth century, so it's... Wow!

And it would be used for incense, or...?

It could be used for incense or could have just been buried with spices JL: with the body.

US: Oh right, purification.

Yeah.

Sometimes they were brightly decorated, and very, very vivid in colors, but what happened was because they were buried quite low underground, the water level would rise, and when the water level dropped again, it would take all the colors away.

This, like your little pot there, is very, very interesting, and £85.

US: Right.

It would give that one a bit of meat, to put the two together.

It doesn't need meat, James!

VO: The current price tag on this little Oriental lot would set Una and James back a grand total of £133.

My thought was that it would be a very interesting group together.

Right... What are you thinking?

Nothing, I have an absolutely blank, Buddhist mind.

(THEY LAUGH) OK... Well, that's 24.

It would be nice to end up with it being at 15, something like that.

Done.

JL: Would that be alright?

DEALER: Done.

OK. OK, so there's that one.

50p.

DEALER: 50p, OK...

I'm doing well!

Thank you!

And we're going to have to make it up on this one a bit.

Well, now... JL: Gee.

I'll tell you what... DEALER: It's the charm.

DEALER: It's the charm.

JL: I'm going to go, and I'll leave...!

OK, the third one.

Please don't say 50p again.

Una, would you be happy if we paid £30 for that?

US: Yes.

JL: I know, but... My hand is here - who's going to shake?

JL: Is it alright?

DEALER: Done.

Thank you.

Super.

I think that's a really interesting first lot for us.

US: I hope so.

DEALER: Good.

VO: Una and James have dipped into their budget and spent £45.50.

OK. Where next?

Here we are - antiques.

Ah, that would do.

VO: At the other end of Holt, Aspel and Plant are off for a poke about Mews Antique Emporium.

Ooh, another den.

VO: And this big den is run by the lovely Joan.

Are you looking for anything in particular?

Whatever catches our eye, I think.

That's the way we're going to play it.

VO: Well, play on then, boys.

What do you kind of get when you come in somewhere like this?

Well, confusion is the main emotion, because it is such a mixture of stuff.

You have to watch every corner.

I view it as almost an assault on your senses.

Yes, yes.

Because A - your eyes just take in everything, you know.

You never know what you might find.

MA: Yes.

You were in the military?

Yes, I did my two years of national service in the infantry.

Kings Royal Rifle Corp, Rifleman Aspel.

Rifleman Aspel, right.

And I lined - not entirely alone - the king's funeral parade through London as... as a national serviceman.

TP: In 1952?

MA: Yes.

God.

Quite emotional really.

It was extraordinary.

I mean, the procession was glorious.

VO: OK, Rifleman Aspel - back to today's mission.

TP: I've spotted something.

Oh look, it's like a little cricket pitch in there!

Isn't that wonderful?

It's very 1960s/70s, isn't it?

Yes.

It's got its box, and that's the important thing, isn't it?

It's got its box and I don't think it's ever been played with.

Hmm.

It's Lords there, isn't it?

The old pavilion.

Isn't that wonderful?

"Godfrey Evans Games".

The great wicket keeper.

You said you were in... what cricket team?

Oh, we had our own little team called the TV Travelers, because we had no ground of our own, we just kept moving.

Did you play?

Godfrey Evans.

I played a game with him in our charity matches.

Did you?

He and Dennis Compton.

Old pals together.

TP: So how good were you?

MA: I was a demon bowler.

Were you?

MA: Yeah.

TP: Fast?

Oh yes, fast and extremely inaccurate.

Very dangerous actually.

Hurt a lot of bystanders.

VO: Rifleman, demon bowler, friend of the stars - this is beginning to feel like an episode of This Is Your Life!

Where's that red book then?

Can I help you with anything?

TP: I'm after a deal.

I know it's only seven, but a single note would be fine.

Five.

Five?

Would you do that for us?

JOAN: Yes.

TP: What do you think, Michael?

That's perfect for us.

Absolutely perfect.

At that price?

Ideal.

VO: So the price is right on the cricket game, and it's time to see if anything will bowl over the competition as they head for Shirehall Plain Antiques.

Watch out for the ladder.

JL: Hello.

WOMAN: Hello.

If we go under there that's going to be bad luck.

We need all the luck we can get in here!

Thank you!

Now, we're running out of time.

Shall we wander through the rest?

US: Yes.

JL: Let's have a quiet wander.

VO: But while she wanders, Una's mind is still on something that caught her eye earlier.

I think that little glass vase would have done well.

I think.

I'd love to have proved him wrong on that, but... JL: Helloooo...

US: Oh!

Which little glass vase?

The little, er, decanter.

The green one?

Yes.

I'd love to... Oh, I'd have been so thrilled if I was proved right.

VO: Ah well, never mind Una - there's plenty more pebbles on the antique beach.

What do you think to that?

If you look at the base, the base is incredible.

US: Beautiful.

JL: Try and lift.

Oh my...!

Oof!

That is so heavy.

Would that be...

It's solid bronze.

Gosh!

JL: It's a Regency period bronze lamp.

The originals would have been found in one of the excavations, maybe at Herculaneum or Pompeii, and this is a direct copy...

US: Oh right.

JL: ..of an antique stick.

Something that would've probably been made 2,000 years ago.

US: Wow!

JL: Excuse me?

This great big bronze lamp - is there much movement in this?

DEALER: I shall give him a ring.

JL: A lot of movement.

VO: James and Una are quite taken by the bronze lamp, but with the price tag a whopping £295, there's some haggling to be done.

DEALER: He can do that for you for 195.

195.

US: And it's not yours?

DEALER: No.

US: You had to get on the line.

DEALER: That's right, yes.

But if you want me to phone him back, you can speak to him yourself if you'd like to.

Ooh!

Do you want to?

I could have a go!

That's frightened her, hasn't it?!

I could have...

I could have a go!

JL: OK. Hello John, it's Mandy.

Would you have a quick word with Una Stubbs?

Hello, John?

I'm admiring this beautiful lamp, but it's still too high for us.

Is there a possibility that it can go below 150?

Please?

I... OK, just a second - 160.

Oh, 155, go on.

155?

Thank you!

OK, bye, bye.

Ooh!

155?

Yes.

Well done, well done.

US: Ooh, I was such a creep.

JL: Well done.

Well done.

I think you'll find it there.

Thank you very much.

US: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Left, left, not under that ladder!

VO: Ha-ha, so while superstitious Una and James celebrate their second purchase, the lads of Team Aspel are leaving no stone unturned.

TP: That's quite nice.

Most of the tortoiseshell panels are here.

MA: Yes.

TP: And these are bone.

Oh, look at that.

There's tortoiseshell inside here.

It's had a hard life.

It's missing two corners.

A base.

But this could be restored, and it would be beautiful.

Hmm.

What do you think?

Have a look.

I just wondered if it was too badly mauled by time.

Well it has been mauled by time, you're quite right, but you know, with the tortoiseshell, I mean, it's got to be 1790s I would think.

VO: Now, tortoiseshell and bone may not be to everyone's taste, but as this piece was produced in the late 1700s at earliest, it's perfectly legal now to buy.

I'm looking for... a wonderful price.

I'll try and get Kim on the phone.

Do you think Kim would like to speak to Michael?

We'll try, shall we?

Right.

What are we saying to Kim?

How comfortable are you with this?

Well, I haven't really done it, I don't...

Ever?

No, if I buy a car I just...

They say what it is and I just buy it, so I've never haggled about anything.

But I could state a case, I suppose.

Well, this is quite good.

This could be, you know, a revelation here.

Hmm.

It's got 55 on it.

Start at 30, 35.

I think it's worth a go.

Yes.

And it again is not a big risk item.

Yeah.

VO: Time for Michael Aspel's introduction into the world of haggling.

Come on, Michael - go for it.

Oh, hello, my name is Michael Aspel.

We've found this thing that belongs to Kim, it's a trinket box.

55 is what she's got.

It is in an awful state, of course, although it's basically very pretty, and would need a lot of restoration work.

So we thought we might offer £25 for it.

40?

Oh.

Is that your best price?

35.

OK, 35.

That's very good.

Right, thanks a lot.

Bye.

Well Michael, for somebody who doesn't deal, who just gets the price and asks...

There was nobody there, of course.

No.

(THEY LAUGH) You went in with the crushing blow of £25!

I didn't actually mean to say 25.

TP: It just came out.

MA: Yes.

It's the killer Michael Aspel.

Was that a bit like when you were bowling?

Yes, it was, a kind of madness seized me.

I didn't care who got in the way.

So if you want to go for it, we'll go for it.

35 quid?

We should do it.

Yeah?

Yes, let's go for it.

VO: While the boys celebrate their third lot for the auction thanks to the negotiations of killer Michael Aspel, Una and James are back on the road.

So tell me, how do you feel after your morning's antique shop buying?

Any regrets?

Of course - the little green decanter.

Ooh - stop it!

Oh!

I knew you loved it.

You've got a choice now.

You can either put it in the auction...

Yes?

..and see if it makes a profit, or you can just keep it.

I'm going to keep it James.

Oh good.

VO: Aww.

James, you big softie.

How sweet of you to buy that for Una.

And out of your own pocket money too.

Thank you.

Oh, it's a pleasure.

It's dear.

VO: Wasn't that expensive... Una and James and her green decanter are heading to the village of Colby, home to the Straw Works and Crafts Museum, the largest collection of straw crafted pieces in the UK.

US: Wow!

JL: OK. VO: The museum is home to several hundred fascinating pieces crafted from straw from all over the world.

The items on display include sculptures from Africa and Japan, straw hats from Switzerland and delicate items of clothing woven from strands of straw.

This photograph from 1951 shows a young Princess Margaret looking gorgeous, wearing a dress embroidered by straw, designed by Christian Dior for her 21st birthday.

Lucky gal.

Heavy doors!

You're such a gent.

VO: This could be love.

Ah, hello!

VO: And the lady responsible for putting this collection together is Ella Carstairs.

Lovely to see you.

I'm James, nice to see you.

My favorite man!

JL: Aw.

US: And I'm Una.

ELLA: Una.

US: Nice to meet you.

Thank you Una.

All the girls love you James!

VO: Here we go.

83-year-old Ella has been running the museum single-handedly for over 20 years.

Her collection is housed in five large sheds in the grounds of her cottage.

Well, in here.

US: Oh my goodness, look at these things.

JL: Wow!

Gosh, my goodness.

ELLA: Yes, it surprises everybody.

JL: You've got an absolute cross section, from paintings to the corn dolls...

They're not paintings, that's all done with straw.

No!

I've done all these.

You've done them?

Yes.

They're all done with dyed straw.

All you do is lay straws in a trough...

US: Mm-hm.

When they've absorbed the dye, you take them out and instead of laying them out on the ground, I stood them up, which meant that the color ran down, so can you see how natural?

Yes.

It looks great, doesn't it?

That's straw for you.

VO: As well as Ella's own creations, the museum is home to some very unique pieces, including these boxes produced by Napoleonic prisoners of war.

ELLA: 200 years old.

US: English?

ELLA: French prisoners of war.

US: Oh.

So, they've been captured over in France, on the battlefield of Waterloo, they've been brought back to England... That's right.

..and they've been put in an open camp.

Yes.

And they were, they were treated as part of the village, and they did this sort of straw work to give themselves pocket money.

It's as fine as hair.

Yeah.

It's lovely.

You'd think it would be so brittle to work with.

These are the things that you would expect a lady with great skill and delicate hands to be doing, not somebody who spends his career firing cannon.

VO: As well as overseeing the museum, Ella also runs classes in straw crafting.

Beautiful.

VO: Let's see how today's pupils get on.

Now, to make a corn dolly, you have five pieces of straw.

Place each bit nice and neatly side by side.

Ooh!

Do you want me to help you with it?

Have you tied it?

Oh, James.

That should do it.

Yes.

Lay your corn dolly out into five positions.

They're standing up, they're not laying out, are they?

You haven't got your hand underneath it, lovey, you've got it either side of it.

You've got it perfect.

Hold it firmly and then swing it round.

And then the one behind the one you've taken over, you take that over the next two.

Are you with me, love?

I'm with you.

Are you?

Oh dear.

How are you, James?

Good lad, that's it, that's coming.

That's coming.

Excellent.

You're getting the hang of it, James.

I haven't had any good remarks, James.

Have you noticed?

I'm gonna get a smack, I think!

OK, points out of 10?

I should say six, wouldn't you?

VO: That's generous.

With their corn dollies finished, it's class dismissed.

VO: And, as the sun sets on day one of our road trip, I'd say Una and James have got off to a dolly good start!

Oh, who writes this stuff?

And with Norfolk's antique shops closed for the day, it's time also for Team Aspel to turn in and recharge those haggling batteries.

Night-night.

VO: As a new day dawns in the county of Norfolk, the pressure is on for our celebrities to find that special something that will bring in the bids at auction.

Michael, how is your antique hunt going?

MA: There's so much stuff.

US: I know.

And in the end your eyes start to water and your throat dries up and you think, "I've got to find something."

US: I know!

MA: You had James - how do you get on with him?

You know, you think, "Gosh, I'm really learning a lot about stuff," but he knows about everything.

JL: Una is amazing fun.

D'you know, she knows exactly what she likes and what she doesn't, and I'm not going to get away with buying anything that she really doesn't like.

US: How did you get on with Thomas?

MA: Very well, thanks.

He gave me the impression that I knew what I was... Oh.

MA: ..thinking, talking about.

US: How generous.

Which is of course not the case.

I have to say I am with the most modest man ever in the world.

If I could be as modest as he is, I would feel... Yeah, Thomas, you and modest...!

(THEY LAUGH) I didn't think he'd be a very good dealer, and he was amazing!

Was he really?

He was amazing!

VO: The amazing - ha!

- Michael Aspel and his new number one fan Thomas Plant have spent an amazing £180 on three lots for auction.

The projector, the boxed cricket game, and not forgetting the result of Michael's first ever haggle, the tortoiseshell trinket box.

We thought we might offer £25 for it.

VO: Leaving the pair with £220 to spend from their original £400 budget.

Mmm... VO: Someone else enjoying the thrill of the deal is Una Stubbs.

James and Una have spent £200.50 on two auction lots - their Oriental pot collection, including Una's 50p bowl.

Please don't say 50p again.

VO: And the bronze floor-standing lamp that set them back £155, leaving Team Stubbs with £199.50 left to spend.

Back on the road, Michael and Thomas are heading for the lovely town of Aylsham.

TP: We've bought very well and I think, you know, you never know what we might find now.

MA: Yes.

Well, I'm ready for it, I have to tell you that.

TP: Well, that's really good news, because I think it's your turn.

MA: Well, I won't pick it unless I like it.

TP: Well, that's the thing.

VO: Let's hope Red Lion Antiques has a plethora of goodies.

Morning, I'm Will Cotton.

TP: Oh, I like your... your Easter Island tissue box.

MA: Bit of fun, isn't it?

WILL: Yes.

So, do you mind if we have a good look?

Please do.

Now, here's something unusual, isn't it, the old tortoise?

That's quite cute, isn't it?

It's just, just dreadful!

It's wonderful though, isn't it?

Chinese dim sum steamer.

Are those fairly modern?

Fairly modern, but fairly fun though.

I'm sure it would've been used sort of almost like a centerpiece.

Yeah, sort of...

I've not had it before.

VO: Made from hardwood and cane, this little fellow would be used to steam a variety of different-flavored bite-sized delicacies, more commonly known as dumplings.

I can see a couple of dumplings from here.

It's eye catching, isn't it?

I never would have picked that up, Michael.

I never would have picked that up.

Well, I think we'll take that down.

We'll talk to Will about that, shall we do that?

I think so, I think it's charming.

I think maybe if we find a few other little bits and bobs for him to be friends with.

MA: Yes, perhaps.

VO: Well, they do say the tortoise always wins.

James and Una are on their way to the delightful town of Fakenham.

Fakenham's weekly market still takes place in the area of the original market of the year 1250.

Here we go.

Shopping head on?

Definitely.

VO: Having blown just over half their £400 budget on just two lots for the auction, let's hope Fakenham Antiques Centre has some hidden gems for Una and James.

JL: (SHIVERS) US: Hello.

Hello.

VO: Hello!

The center is run by Jake the dog.

Oh, yes.

And Brenda.

Hello Brenda.

MAN: Jake.

JL: Hello Jake!

Hello.

US: Aww.

JL: Hello.

What are you saying?

What are you saying?

Got some bargains?

Hey?

VO: So that's how you haggle in doggy language.

Hmm.

While Una focuses her attention on finding some treasures for the auction, James is... JL: (MUTTERS) VO: James is, well... ..communicating with the dog.

I'm lost without him.

I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking... James!

James, we're supposed to be working today.

Oh, plenty of time for that.

See you later.

Gonna look.

Una, how about those?

A pair of boots, they're lovely tan leather.

They've got the stirrups.

US: Oh my goodness.

40... can somebody just... is that a double zero?

I would have said £140.

In fact, I thought they were £14, you might have got away with £14 if you hadn't have... Oh, James!

BRENDA: I'll ring the dealer.

VO: Could these boots be walking straight to the auction house?

Well, I guess that depends on the price tag.

I've just spoken to the dealer and he says £80 on the boots.

Hmm.

No, it's far too much.

OK. Now then, what have we got through here?

Pretty, isn't it?

The clipper.

It's £58... but... ..it's quite a decent example.

The condition's not bad.

It's probably pre-war.

The sails are made from linen sacks but... JL: it's got a look to it.

US: Mmm.

VO: This 20th century model is a replica of a 19th century tea clipper.

These were the greyhounds of the ocean.

Built in American and British shipyards, they were designed to take the trade routes between Europe and the East Indies, carrying tea of course.

The most famous of the vessels is our very own Cutty Sark.

All this talk of tea is making me parched.

Cup of tea and slice of cake, anyone?

We need to get it for less than £30 if we're going to stand a chance.

US: Really?

JL: 58, so it's about half.

It's a big jump, isn't it, down.

But we're by the coast, King's Lynn.

That's true.

How much could the boat be, please?

Um, he said 40.

Would 30 be a possibility for this?

Yes.

JL: 30, brilliant.

VO: Well, that was fairly straightforward.

For £30, it looks like Una and James have their fourth lot for the auction - well done.

VO: Back in Aylsham, the likely lads are still carrying on their quest to find some friends for their tortoise dim sum steamer, as you do.

TP: What have you got there?

Another bit of Oriental?

VO: This spoon is made from cow horn and it's about 100 years old.

£15, yes, that's quite a lot of money.

This looks like we've got a bit of a foodie lot on our hands here.

MA: I do like Chinese food.

Not so fond of Indian food, but I do like Chinese.

Is the Indian a bit too spicy for you?

Yes.

Hmm.

VO: Moving on, and Michael's on a roll.

Spring roll.

There's quite a nice blue jar in there.

Oh, let's have a look.

It is quite fun, isn't it?

It's lovely.

Cookie jar.

Popular color, isn't it, too.

It is a popular color and it's a showy thing as well.

MA: Mmm.

TP: You can see the age on it.

Yes, I had a look under there.

I think we need to, sort of, beef up that, sort of, foodie lot with something a bit more substantial to it.

I think that spoon is quite special.

Oh, you like that spoon?

Well go for it, we'll go for it.

That would be a showy thing.

You can imagine the porter holding that up.

That's right... Holding it up...

The light goes through it.

The light... "Oh that's nice, isn't it?

"Oh, go on, go on, bid for that", and we get a few more bids cuz it's a showy thing.

I think we've narrowed down what we want to look at, haven't we Michael?

Yes, we have.

That was marked at 12.50, it's an attractive thing.

This is at 18 and that was 15.

45, 50.

Um.

£40.

I'd like to give you £30 for the lot.

How about we split the difference - 35?

I'd be really pleased at 30.

I expect you would, yes.

The thing is, I'm looking to sort of try and make a profit.

Yes, of course, yes.

Then... you know...

So am I.

Well, I know you are.

DEALER: I'll tell you what, make it 32.

£30, go on.

Please?

OK then.

Yeah, you gonna do it?

Yes, I will do.

TP: That's very kind of you.

MA: Nice work.

One...

I think you got yourself a bargain there.

VO: So, with the little lot for £30, the boys have spent just over half of their £400 budget on five lots for tomorrow's auction.

Back on the other side... anybody there?

Una is getting another lesson in antiques from Mr Lewis.

I collect snuffboxes, you know.

They're great.

It's a double one, this is quite fun because look - if you are a great friend of the person, you would open that and there's a nice big snuff section there.

And your fingers go all the way in and take a great wad.

If you don't like them too much, you would open this... ..and it was only a little shallow and they'd call it a "mean pinch".

That they would think of that to... Yeah and the brass ones, they were often miners' ones because they didn't spark, because if you had a steel snuffbox and you struck it with a bit of a tool or a bit of rock, it'd cause a spark, and all the gases down in the mines would cause explosions so...

He knows everything.

That is such an interesting story.

It's fantastic.

I was just a very sad child that grew into a very sad adult.

(LAUGHS) Do you know how much his asking price was?

BRENDA: Let me give him another ring.

I don't think it would've been... JL: that much.

BRENDA: No.

25.

JL: Ah, 25.

BRENDA: Ah, more your price.

OK, shall we say yes on that?

US: Yes.

JL: That's 55 for the two.

Yes.

JL: (LAUGHS) Sure?

Not that sure but... And the dealer said if you're REALLY interested in the boots, you could have them for... 40.

Phoo!

That's fair.

JL: That's really kind, thank you so much.

VO: Una and James have picked up three more lots for auction.

The unusual George III snuffbox, the model tea clipper and the bargain boots all for the tidy sum of £95.

So, with five lots in total, they're calling it a day on their antique buying, but Michael and Thomas have one more stop.

MA: There's a lot of sky round here, isn't there?

TP: There's a lot of sky, there's a lot of sky.

VO: They're heading to the town of North Walsham, to visit Ian Clarke, a private collector of World War II militaria.

Do you think people enjoyed being called up for national service?

Well, you were quite pleased to pass the medical and be regarded as fit enough to fight for your king.

But as the date got nearer, we weren't quite so excited about it.

People would say, "It'll make a man of you."

Did it?

Well, I would have been a man anyway.

VO: (LAUGHS) VO: Ian's collection, which he keeps at his family home, includes a limited-edition replica of a recently discovered World War II diary.

IAN: Gentlemen.

TP: Hello.

Pleased to meet you.

Please, come in.

MA: OK. IAN: This was hidden for years and years and years, and it only came to light when the member of the regiment passed away and it was given to the regiment.

VO: Wow!

The diary is one of the most astonishing manuscripts to come out of the Second World War.

It catalogs the story of the SAS during the conflict, and includes previously unpublished details of top secret information and operational orders.

"SAS War Diary, 1941-45".

Yeah.

You don't know who actually wrote it?

Well the regiment knows, but nobody's allowed to say who it actually is.

Why are you involved?

My teacher at school was Arthur Wood, and he was called "Chippy", and it was many years later I bumped into him at a meeting of veterans, and I asked him what he did.

He says, "I was in the Special Air Service, "and I dropped into France, June 10th."

MA: 1944?

IAN: Indeed.

"And I was there for two months."

VO: Arthur Woods, or "Chippy", served in the SAS during World War II as a member of the secret signals operation Phantom.

Chippy was known for being one of the best operators in Morse code and signals.

And they were seconded to the SAS for D-Day, and this operation was called Houndsworth, and this was the actual shot of them getting on the plane... ..just before takeoff, and there's Chippy just there.

And how did Houndsworth go?

Houndsworth was very successful.

It was to cut the German lines, and to stop reinforcements getting through to Normandy.

They'd gather all the intelligence - which regiments were going here, which regiments were going there - relay it back to London, and they did lots of attacks.

What these guys did was incredible.

Every serving soldier was admired for what he had done, but these chaps went one step beyond, didn't they?

IAN: They went the extra mile.

MA: Yeah.

They were in a dangerous position, because in '42, Hitler issued an order that any captured Special Air Service or Parachuters or Commando would be shot.

So these guys knew that they were really up against it.

Do you remember any of your teachers?

Yes I do, I remember quite a few, but mostly Miss Guppy.

Audrey Guppy.

When I was seven years old I was evacuated, during the war, and she was our favorite teacher.

She also had very nice legs.

I was just the right height to appreciate them.

And then lo and behold, she traveled the world after the war, and she now lives five minutes from where I live in Surrey.

She's 99, very nearly 100 years old, still taller than I am, straight as an arrow, and wonderfully funny and good company.

I see her regularly.

Do you?

Certain people do stick in the mind.

VO: Ian and his former maths teacher went on to become good friends.

When Chippy passed away, he left his collection of personal artifacts from his time in the SAS to Ian.

And did all these men - heroes - get the special award at the end of all this?

The majority of them got the French Coeur de Guerre.

Chippy also got mentioned in dispatches.

So your teacher, Chippy, you remembered him from a boy to an adult.

Correct.

But he must have been quite special to you.

Yeah, he was.

Because we've lost him now, and yeah, it's quite sad.

Yeah.

Very sad.

VO: With the records of these amazing exploits now made public, the legacy of Chippy and his comrades lives on.

MA: Ian, thank you very much.

IAN: Thank you.

MA: It was really interesting.

IAN: A pleasure.

Nice to have met you.

VO: The teams are motoring on towards the auction at our final stop of the road trip, King's Lynn.

JL: When does Sherlock Holmes start again?

US: In the new year.

Working with all those guys, all those young guys together, must be absolute madness.

Do you have fun with them?

Serious fun.

Do you?

I'm really the cat that got the cream.

Hopefully they haven't bought well.

Yes, hopefully they haven't, but I've a terrible feeling they might have bought very well.

VO: And as our contestants reunite, it's time for them to reveal their antiques to the competition.

TP: Shall I reveal?

US: Can we see?

Oh, you've bought lots of things!

Oh my goodness.

So this is our main purchase.

JL: How much was that?

It was £140.

Ah!

A lot of people out there who know about these things and love them.

Yes, absolutely.

I wonder who they are(?)

Well!

This is a cricket game bearing the name of Godfrey Evans, the great wicketkeeper of England fame.

Oh isn't that lovely?

It's all there.

It's quite fun, isn't it?

It's a lot of fun.

You'll have paid £30 for it.

Five.

Oh!

Now, I've got to... that.

VO: OK James, no need to snatch.

Oh my word.

Yes, it's in a state, but it is eye-catching.

That's fantastic.

What's it for?

A trinket box?

JL: It's a beautiful...

US: Box.

JL: ..late 17th century, early 18th century... ..tortoiseshell, bone... How much did you pay for that?

30?

Five.

35?!

This is the one Michael offered £25 for!

No!

Wow!

That's the best thing I've ever known you to buy on Road Trip ever.

I'm stunned, that is... You must be proud.

So there we are.

Come on, let's go over and see what they've bought.

Oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

What have you got, the Cutty Sark there?

What is the ship?

Is it something, after you've smoked a number of Rothman cigarettes you get tickets to go and buy the kit and make it up?

JL: I think it could well be.

They are quite difficult to sell.

Are they?

Oh.

But love these though, these little naughty fellows.

And down there, they're down there as well.

Yeah, they're down there as well, those little devils.

295?!

Now what did you pay for that?

It was £155.

Hmm.

OK, so 155, and what do we have here?

We've got the boots - what size are these?

I think about eight.

That's your size, isn't it?

No, it's not!

I had a pair, and they were really smashing.

You know how I like my - oh, no, they're a bit small for me.

That's a shame.

VO: Una and James's little lot of china has caught Thomas's eye.

Really early.

That's like Ming, isn't it?

Just after Ming, I think.

But I mean, it's been through the wars, obviously.

Was that nothing cos it's so broken?

Did you pay...

I thought you were going to be surprised when I said 50p!

Fifty pence?!

Well that's amazing!

50p?!

Thank you!

VO: Now that they've showed their wares, it's time to find out what the teams really think of each other's booty.

That box...

If I'd seen that in a shop, I would have paid £350 for it.

No!

Golly.

The boat looks like it's been sort of in a dirty house.

Maybe that's me being a bit pathetic, but there you are.

The film thing, I would be surprised if it made a profit.

Yes.

But I don't think it'll make as big a loss as our lamp.

No... Well done you.

I think you deserve a huge pat on the back, and I'm going to buy you a very big drink now.

MA: Oh!

JL: You know...

It's the fun of it.

It's the fun of it, and I think we will both do fine.

Yeah.

VO: So it's here at Tawn Landles auction house that Michael Aspel, Thomas Plant, Una Stubbs and James Lewis gather, each team hoping to make the most profit and of course be declared the winner of tonight's Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Have you missed the 2CV?

This is an emotional moment.

You'll get to drive her after.

Looks like an execution chamber.

It's not an execution chamber, it's fine.

£27, new bidder at the back there.

VO: Auctioneer Tim Landles has had a chance to look over our teams' purchases.

The tea clipper is an interesting item.

A little bit dusty.

They are sometimes considered by other halves as a bit of a dust trap.

The dim sum steamer, we're not too sure about that item.

I'm not totally sure of how old that might be.

The bronze ionic candlestand, we think that is quite a nice looking item.

It's got some good detail on it.

The top may have had a little bit of repair.

Today's auction is a furniture auction.

The items that have come in, whilst we're delighted to have them in, are more the smaller items that would have perhaps been in our sale tomorrow, but we're still hoping for a good turnout today and we'll do the best we can.

VO: And a good turnout it is - well done Tim.

With you about, I think I've got the good card here.

All these ladies, you see.

You'll just have to hold up the items as the porter.

No!

And then walk around with them up above your head, you'll be fine.

Take my shirt off.

Take your shirt off, yes, absolutely.

VO: Both teams began this journey with £400 in their pocket, and two days later Michael and Thomas have spent £210 on five auction lots.

It's the killer Michael Aspel.

A kind of madness seized me.

Oh!

VO: Una and James, meanwhile, have parted with an impressive £295.50, also for five auction lots.

Well done.

Well done.

Oh, I was such a creep!

VO: Quiet please!

It's time for the auction.

First up, it's Una and James's 19th century pocket snuffbox.

There it is, £10, start me off at 10?

What am I bid?

At £5 then, start me off at a fiver.

What?!

A fiver I'm bid sir, over there at £5.

Seven is there?

At 13.

15.

Take 18.

18, new bid.

20, I'll take it.

20.

23.

25.

30.

35 sir?

VO: It seems no-one shares James's enthusiasm for snuffboxes.

Ah-ah-atchoo.

Last time of asking at £30.

38.

VO: The double compartment snuffbox may have made Una and James a small profit, but they still have commission to pay on the piece.

I wish I'd just put it in my pocket and bought it myself.

VO: Next, it's Team Aspel's Godfrey Evans cricket game, still in its original box.

If that makes more than my snuffbox, I'm gonna eat this.

Start me off at £10.

Seven I'm bid, at £7.

Ooh, seven, profit already.

One more sir, 10?

10?

Can I say 12, at 12.

Wow!

Say 13.

15?

At 15.

Down here in the middle at £18, can I say 20?

They know quality!

What it's worth!

Last time of asking.

£20, sir.

No, it's 18, was it?

18?

Oh no, it's alright, he'll pay 20!

Go on!

VO: The cricket game has made the lads a £13 profit, minus commission.

Moving on to the dust collector - sorry, I mean the model tea clipper.

TIM: £30 then.

Take 30?

JL: Oh no.

10 then.

At 10.

I'll take 12?

Ooh!

13?

15.

At 18.

20, can I say?

New bidder at 20.

23.

25.

27.

One more is 30.

Oh go on, it's worth that!

VO: More tea, clipper?

Vicar?

There it is then, £27.

It could be dusted, I have to say.

VO: Selling the tea clipper at £27 means a loss for Una and James.

Moving on to Michael and Thomas's second lot, and it's the art-deco cookie jar.

Start me off at a fiver?

£5 am I bid?

Oh, a fiver... TIM: Can I say seven?

TP: Oh no, come on.

TIM: A bidder there at £7.

US: How much did you pay?

10 sir?

Go on, bit more.

13?

At 13.

Is there 15?

Last time of asking.

Well, so far so good.

VO: Yes, so far so good indeed Michael.

So on we go, with Una and James's Oriental lot - the Tang Dynasty terracotta piece, the Chinese ginger jar and Una's 50p blue and white bowl, and James is giving the crowd a lesson in pottery.

These are terracotta pieces from another underground burial tomb like the Terracotta Army.

Chinese, Tang Dynasty.

700AD.

1,300 years old.

VO: She doesn't look very impressed.

Their opening bid there at £30.

JL: Come on, come on.

US: 30, 30, 30.

35 is there?

40 sir?

At £40.

45.

50.

55.

60.

All done then, last time of asking.

VO: Hold on.

It's at £60.

Aww!

Boo!

New glasses, auctioneer!

Aww.

VO: Ah well.

Even with the missed bid, they've made a profit of £14.50 minus commission.

And on, to Michael and Thomas's taste of the Orient - the tortoise steamer and the exotic bird handled serving spoon.

Start me off at £10?

TP: Go on.

TIM: £5 for them then?

Can I say 7?

10.

13.

£15, with you madam, at the back at the moment.

TP: Oh, bit more!

TIM: Last time of asking.

Small loss Michael, don't worry about it.

Did we lose?!

We lost a small fiver.

VO: Ah well, seems the tortoise doesn't always win.

Next up, the early 20th century cavalry officer's riding boots, picked up by Una and James for £40.

TIM: £30 then I'll take.

JL: Oh no.

30 I'm bid, at £30.

40, can I say?

At 40.

JL: Come on, guys!

TIM: At £40.

Can I say 45?

US: Oh!

It should have a one in front of it!

Last time of asking, new bidder.

£45 to you sir.

Got a bit of wear in them, yet, I would say.

£50, well, somebody has one heck of a bargain.

I agree.

VO: Well I remember someone getting one heck of a bargain on the boots in the first place, James.

Let's see how Michael and Thomas's home cinema gets on.

Start me off at £50.

£30 then, 30 I'm bid, at £30.

Oh dear.

40.

45.

50.

55.

60.

65.

70.

75.

£95.

Go on, make 100.

95.

Go on, go on!

£95.

All done are we?

Bit more.

US: (GROANS) TP: (FEIGNS SOBBING) TP: No, it'll be fine.

MA: He finally cracked.

VO: They've got a tough crowd in today, with an upsetting loss of £45 on the projector.

I think both of our expensive lots are gonna bomb.

But it's all about their box.

Yes.

The right people are here for it.

I think that could do really well.

Yes.

VO: And the next item is Una and James's big spend - the bronze floor-standing lamp.

£100 for it?

At 110, at 110.

At 120.

130.

140.

150.

160.

170.

The bidding here at 170.

Go on, go for another one!

Go on!

At £170.

175.

Whoa!

Last time of asking, at 175.

JL: I'm pleased that we got out of that.

US: Yes, me too James.

VO: The final piece is the result of Michael's impressive haggling technique - the tortoiseshell veneer trinket box.

Could this be Michael and Thomas's trump card?

£50, start me off at 50?

Guys!

50 can I say?

Tortoiseshell casket.

US: Aw.

JL: It's worth 500!

£20, start me at 20.

VO: Let's hope the bidders are as excited as James, and he doesn't own it.

25 can I say?

At £25 I'm bid.

30, at £30.

At 35.

40.

45.

No!

It's at 45.

With you at 45.

Can I say 50?

55.

65.

TIM: 75.

US: Getting better.

85.

95.

Go on, go on.

New bidder.

100.

110.

120.

125, right at the back there.

Keep going, it's worth it.

Finish at 125.

I promise you it's worth it!

Back in here at 130.

£130.

It's his, it's not even mine!

Back in at 150.

155.

165.

Down here at £165.

Last time.

TIM: 38.

US: Yeah!

JL: Thomas, well done.

Give us your hand.

Well done.

Well done Michael.

Thank you.

Brilliant.

Well negotiated.

Fantastic.

Oh, brilliant.

Good.

VO: So with the trinket box making a profit of £130, it's a victory for Michael and Thomas.

Well done, Michael.

How do you feel?

Excited?

Yes.

I feel somehow my living's not been in vain.

Stop it Michael!

VO: So both teams started their road trip with a £400 budget.

After paying auction costs, Una and James have lost £15.06, giving them £384.94 at the finishing line.

Michael and Thomas though made a small but tidy profit of £40.92 after auction costs, giving them a grand and winning total of £440.92.

Well I never did - well done.

All the money our celebrities and experts make will go to Children In Need.

US: I enjoyed that... in a way.

JL: Did you enjoy that, Una?

In a nervy sort of way, yeah.

Guys, I have to say, congratulations.

Absolutely.

Absolutely fantastic result.

Great find, great bargaining.

So close!

So close!

Come on!

VO: So thank you everyone, especially today's winners, Michael Aspel and Thomas Plant.

US: Were you pleased US: with your results?

MA: Oh yes.

It is fun.

It was enjoyable, it really was.

And seeing you again, that was nice.

MA: Ah yes.

That's what it's all about really.

VO: Farewell!

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